“Is it urgent or valuable?”
God, how I shudder when I hear the Post Office clerk asking the little old lady, or similarly vulnerable (read “sucker”) person on the other side of the glass trying to send a birthday present of a pair of slippers to their brother in Glasgow.
“What’s in the packet?”
“Oh, it’s only a pair of slippers.”
“How much are they worth?”
“£10.00. How much is the cheapest way to send them?”
“[Not answering this question directly] Well, they can get lost,” says the clerk trying to ramp up the business and put the frighteners on the customer.
“What the difference in cost?” asks the now intimidated customer.
“Well, Signed For (quoting first class rate and not even bothering to tell her the second class cost) is £3.60, and Special Delivery is £8.85. But it’ll be guaranteed to be there before 1pm tomorrow.”
Seeing that there is now a queue of roughly 400 people behind her waiting to collect their pension or buy a second class stamp, she feels she must capitulate and fall for the bullying tactics of the counter clerk who tells her- having effectively doubled the price of her original purchase – that here’s her receipt which she can track online.
Online? What’s that? The washing?
I think it’s scandalous, this whole scenario!
Royal Mail as it is now, or, Royal Frail as I’ve heard it called in some waggish circles, is supposed to be an entity in which we entrust our mail. And, for the most part, it does work quite well. I take a view that post doesn’t “get lost”. It can go astray, but it’s very, very rare that it does. In such an event, you can make a claim (you’ll need to send an original receipt of posting – better photocopy that in case it too “gets lost”), in which you are asked all manner of questions; anything in fact that can actually dissuade you from actually even having the temerity to make a claim!
As a virtual monopoly, Royal Frail can do what it likes. It’s now 46p to send a so-called “First Class” letter, with second class 10p less. I have an idea. If everybody just used the second class service, all mail would HAVE to go first class as they’d be bogged down with all the second class stamped stuff! This would hopefully do away with the scandal of a two-tier system and bring us back to one rate.
Incidentally – and don’t say I told you this –but I have heard that if you affix a 2nd class stamp to your letter and turn it through 90 degrees (so that Her Maj is facing downwards), the phosphor strips are read as a first class stamp. I’ve tried it, and (ahem) it does appear to work...
There was a time a few years ago, in order to hide their shame of being Royal Mail and try and get up to date, well, into the twentieth century, that millions were spent on a new name and logo. Consignia it was. And what was that logo supposed to suggest? A maelstrom of confusion?
Another thing about stamps: The first and second class stamps now have anti-reuse strips in them, that if you try to steam them off, come away leaving you with two small holes in the stamp. Help is at hand however, with some careful use of lighter fluid...
You should watch out for another illegal scam they try. Since installing digitral scales at most of the larger Post Offices, these tend not to return to zero after a particularly heavy parcel has been previously sitting on there. Your airmail letter to the US, which you thought weighed 19grammes, and was therefore eligible for that weight band, now weighs 25 grammes. DOH! They forgot to return it zero! Sucker! You just payed for the next weight step, as if it wasn't going to be dear enough...
So, remember, the next time you go into the Post Office (if you really, really must), and they ask you if it’s urgent or valuable, say yes and yes, but I expect you to look after it. It’s in your charter tell them. And also to mind their own business as they have no legal authority to enquire about either! And would they please reset the scales! If they can’t make a profit, let Deutsche Post or TNT show ‘em how to do it!
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